MUINUKO

Mungu ni wa maajabu. The way he created man and living things in general is a wonder but man’s creation takes the cake, especially where matters of sex is concerned. The position of sexual organs and their behaviour.
To single out man, (different from woman), the sex organ Mr. Dick is an important ego booster but it sometimes can be a big embarrassment. Picture this, I am seated behind my new desk (but do I say), with only my upper body visible to anyone else in the office. Today is my first day at work in a new company. I have already gone thru all there is in terms of orientation and since at this particular time it is not very busy, I am already playing FreeCell, but my mind has wandered. I’m reminiscing on the good times I had with my ex, whom I still adore by the way, and my manhood Mr. Dick gets excited from the sweet memories. So I become so engrossed in my memoirs and he is busy trying to burst the boundaries when I notice the boss gesticulating in my direction (I had ceased playing FreeCell and was just staring towards her office). Kumbe she wants me to go to her, which involves standing up and moving the few paces to where she is; now standing. Of course I should have told her to come over to where I was (just kidding) but I didn’t coz she’s the boss. Meanwhile, Mr. Dick refuses to go back to sleep. This is neither a good time nor place for me to force the juice out of him to make him sleep. The boss is getting impatient, I am the new guy and I’m taking my time to stand up (I wish angejua). Now she adds some sound to her gestures and calls out loud for me to move over to where she was. I could have sworn she knew what was up (and refusing to go back down), otherwise why was she not having eye contact with me?Anyway, I get on my feet, my feet are standing up straight lakini nimechora saba to try to conceal the now annoyingly protruding Mr. Dick. Made the catch phrase kudunga hema make more sense. The co-workers are staring at me, what with that posture, bending up double like an old man! The boss turns to a concerned mood and asks what the matter could be which I blurt without much of a thought, “constipation,” as if it is less embarrassing but si you know what a drowning man will clutch at? I can hear some giggling now. The colleagues who are having a side view can tell clearly that it is not constipation. I’m wishing, oh how the earth could just open up and swallow me! The boss seems to have been there before, the constipation thing, so she says, “ok. rush to the john and make sure u see me first thing 2morrow morning.” Isn’t that embarrassing even more? There are some more giggles as I head towards the john. Mr. Dick is dozing but still awake, that half mast kind of thing. I’m thinking whether I can do without the job. How can be Day 1 be this bad? I know for sure I now have a nickname. I’m not dying to find out what it is though.